Mrs. Abignale's Apple PieDear Mrs. Abignale, we're sorry for stealing your apple pie on our way to school
and for lighting your robe on fire
so that you were already half-naked when you were only halfway down the street
even as the postman and the pastor were making their rounds
as well as for stealing more apples from your yard when you were thusly indisposed.
We are especially sorry and take full responsibility
for causing you to have that fatal heart attack, in front of the baker's shop
which happened to have more people queuing than usual, we recall, on that particular morning.
On that note, we are also terribly sorry for not being more knowledgeable about first aid
and the finesses of heart massage techniques.
It may not change anything, Mrs. Abignale, but we would like to formally apologise for the above
and for all the other pies which we have pilfered over the course of the last school year.
We hope life in Heaven treats you well.
Perhaps it will please you, Mrs. Abignale
Smaug the StupendousI'm a dragon! Raah, boom!
Riddle me this, or face your doom!
What has spears for claws and claws for teeth?
Steal from me, will you? Your life, bequeath!
I am fire, I am deadly!
Spare me your colourful nickname-medley,
thief in the dark, your end you have spelled
Now watch as I drink in, this moment, to your health!
I'm off to the lake, people-eating
I'll have you as dessert on our next chanceful meeting
Oh - the weak spot on my breast you can scant make out?
That's 'cause I never do anything not worth being sporty about.
Raah, boom, dee-de-dum dolly
Wholesale arson sure makes a drake jolly
Ah, that cute little bowman wants to have a go
Pah - couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with that tiny -